Confusing Feelings of Hale
by SleekBlanBoys
Summary: Shane Johnson is a troubled boy who doesn't know where to go in life because of his abusive step-father. But, when he meets Jason Hale, everything changes. Shason. Some language and child abuse.


**Confusing Feelings of Hale**

Shane Johnson. Probably not the most confident person you will ever meet but, he is a very nice and caring person. Shane and I have been best friends since the fourth grade. Our friendship has grown over the years, where as Shane's grades have dropped. Ever since his mother got divorced from his father he hasn't been the same guy. Shane loved his Dad but he gave his mother full custody of him. Then, when Shane's Mom got a new boyfriend, everything changed. Shane started getting into drugs and he would come to school with bruises the size of California. But, I was always there for him. Making sure he stayed out of those nasty drugs and letting him come over after school so he wouldn't have to go home to his new Step-Dad too early. The one thing I hated seeing was Shane upset. There were times when he would come to school crying or sneak out of the house so he could come over, just to be away from Steven. Even though Steven did all of these awful things to him, Shane never wanted to tell his mother. He cared about her too much to tell her that her husband was a dick from hell. So here we are today, sitting in the boys bathroom, while I wipe away his tears and bandage his wounds, making sure I do everything I can do to be the best friend I can be. Like I said before, Steven has also taken a huge toll on Shane's grades. There isn't enough time in the day for Shane to go home and do his homework before Steven comes home. So, he is failing most of his classes. None of the teachers know about Shane's home life, so all they think is that he just doesn't care. But the thing is, Shane does care. He wants to be successful and grow up having a good and healthy life. But, the teachers don't see Shane's strong ambitions and goals in life because he is so shy and troubled now. Shane doesn't have the confidence to branch out and meet new people anymore.

Shane Johnson. The most caring, genuine and ambitious person you will ever meet. But, troubled, confused and broken.

-Nate Turner

* * *

Everyday I sit in class, rushing through my work so I can keep my grades up. Doing everything in my power to do extra credit or help my teachers but, it's never enough. I still end up failing every class because I'm too slow or don't care, like my teachers say. This is so wrong. Having to go day after day, working my butt off to do good in school then go home to a dick head of a step-father and get beaten to a pulp. It just doesn't seem fair that I should have to go through this. I want to have a good future, I want to have a good life, I want to grow old with someone I love. I want all of those things but, my new family isn't going to let me have them. It's not fair.

"Shane?" my ninth grade English teacher asked, as I was working deathly hard on an essay.

"Yes, Mrs. McCarty?" I answered.

"You need to go down to the office, your counselor would like to speak with you."

"Yes, Ma'am." I said, standing and stuffing my pencil in my pocket.

"Oh, Shaney gets to go cry to the school counselor." Mark, the school bully teased, making everyone laugh. I bowed my head and shuffled out of the room into the silent hallway. I felt the tears coming as I walked down the dark hallway towards the guidance office.

"Shane?" I heard my best friends voice call. My head snapped up and I spotted Nate walking down the hall in the opposite direction. I ran down the hall and threw my arms around his neck, encasing him in a tight hug.

"I hate this Nate." I whispered.

"What happened?" he asked, squeezing my waist.

"Mark."

"You need to stop letting that guy get to you, Shane." he demanded, pulling out of the comforting hug.

"I know." I sighed.

"I've got to get to class, I'll see you at lunch okay?"

"Kay." I nodded, walking away from my friend. When I walked into the guidance office, my counselor, Mr. Freeman, was standing by the desk waiting for me.

"Hello Shane." he smiled.

"Hi, Mr. Freeman." I nodded.

"Come into my office." he lead me into his small cubicle, is a better word for it, and sat me down in a chair.

"Listen, Shane. Your grades have not improved over the last few months and I think it's time you get a tutor."

"But, I…I mean my mom doesn't have the money for that right now."

"Oh, don't worry about the money Shane. I found you a tutor who is willing to do it for free. He's a junior and needs more community service credits."

"O.k." I sighed.

"His name is Jason Hale. I would recommend that you start your after school sessions soon, the semester is almost over, you know. But, you may still have time to bring up your grades."

"Yeah, I know." I nodded.

"Hello, Mr. Freeman." someone said, as the door was opened.

"Ah, good timing, Mr. Hale." Mr. Freeman smiled. I turned around in my seat to face and tall, brown haired, hazel eyed guy who looked incredibly friendly. He was wearing a Police concert tee with black skinny jeans and it looked like he flat-ironed his hair. Well, that's different.

"Jason, I would like you to meet Shane." Mr. Freeman nodded.

"Hey, Shane. Nice to meet you." Jason smiled. I stood up from my chair and shook his outstretched hand.

"Nice to meet you too." I smiled back. Jason looked me up and down then gave me a toothy grin before releasing my hand. Then, my hand started tingling, _What the hell? _

"So, Shane, I was thinking we could start our first session today after school. How does that sound?" Jason asked.

"Sounds great." I smiled.

I got through the day without too many problems. Mark was on my case for most of the day, but thank God for Nate. Honestly, I have no idea where I would be without him. Nate is the kind of person you can say one word to and you are instantly friends. He is such an easy person to talk to and he is always there for me.

"Hey Freshies!"

"Losers!"

"Stupid Freshmen!" all of the upper classmen call us names when we pass them in the hall. I always feel like crawling in a hole after they yell at us. But, Nate is always there to cheer me up.

"Oh go fuck yourselves, you dickheads!" Nate yelled back. I started laughing so hard that my sides hurt after that comment. We walked out into the parking lot where Nate's mom was waiting in her silver Volvo.

"Hey Shane! Do you want me to drive you home?" his mom asked.

"No thanks, Mrs. Turner." I smiled.

"What, why not?" Nate whined.

"I have tutoring sessions at the library now." I sighed.

"Well let us drive you over there." Nate insisted.

"Kay, thanks."

When we arrived at the library, I spotted Jason sitting in the grass, playing an acoustic guitar. I thanked Mrs. Turner and gave Nate a hug before stepping out of the car. I walked up to Jason and sat down in front of him.

"Hey." I smiled.

"Hey Shane." Jason grinned, setting down his guitar beside him.

"That's cool, you play the guitar."

"Yeah, it's really awesome."

"Are you in a band?" I asked, very curious now.

"Nope. Just the one man band you're looking at, here." he smiled, making me laugh.

"Alright, well let's get to studying!" Jason announced, picking up his guitar and slinging his backpack across his shoulders. He lead me to a private room in the library, with book shelves lining the walls and a big conference table set in the middle of the room.

2 hours went by of studying. I managed to finish all of my homework, while Jason sat in the middle of the conference table, playing his guitar. It was around five o'clock now and Jason insisted on taking me down to the local pizza shop for some breadsticks and a couple sodas. I obliged and we ended up spending three hours there, talking about everything you could possibly talk about. I think I learned everything I needed to know about Jason in that amount of time. Then, when Jason was sucking down his soda I realized that Steven was already home and I never called to tell him I would be home late.

"OH MY GOD!" I screamed, causing Jason to spit out his mouth full of soda, all over the table.

"What?" he asked, concerned.

"I NEED TO GET HOME, NOW!"

"What? Why? We were having a good time."

"My step-dad is going to kill me!"

"I'm sure you'll be fine." he nodded, squeezing my shoulder.

"No, Jason! I have to go home!" I yelled, grabbing his arm and pulling him from his seat. We sprinted back to his car and he drove me home, giving me worried stares as I started hyperventilating. Where was Nate when I needed him?

"Shane, Shane calm down!" Jason insisted, prying my hand from the seat.

"My-My-My!" I stuttered.

"I'll explain to your step-dad why you're home late." he promised.

"Kay." I breathed. When we pulled in the driveway, I saw Steven standing in the bay window, staring outside. I felt the blood drain from my face as he stood there, still as stone.

"I-I can't do this, Jason! Just take me to the lake and drown me. Tell Nate and my mom I'm sorry. Just KILL ME!" I yelled.

"Shane, STOP!" he said, gripping the sides of my face so I was staring at him.

"You're going to be fine!" he insisted. I carefully got out of the car and grabbed my backpack from the backseat. Jason swung his arm around my shoulders, while we walked up the sidewalk to the front door. Steven ripped open the front door, causing me to cringe into Jason's side.

"Where Have You Been You Little Faggot?!" Steven yelled.

"Sir, I'm sorry I kept him out late." Jason said, calmly.

"What are you dating or something?" Steven asked and I felt Jason flinch.

"N-No, Sir." _Did Jason just stutter? _

"Well get in here you little dike!" Steven demanded. I stepped forward but Jason pulled me back.

"Let go off him, FUCKER!" Steven screamed.

"Let go, Jason." I whispered. He looked down at me with a worried glance and then released my shoulders. I walked up to Steven and he yanked me in the house, slamming the door in Jason's face. I rushed to the bay window and watched him stuff his hands in his pockets and walk back out to his car. Then, I felt two pairs of hands grip my shoulders.

"JASON!" I screamed, as I was thrown to the ground. The next thing I knew I was standing up against the wall and Steven was beating his fists into my stomach. Then, with one last hard slap to the face, he let me crumple to the floor as he walked away, into the living room. Thank God I didn't tell Jason about this. I hardly told him anything about my life. All I mainly talked about was Nate and how good of a friend he is. He would have never believed me if I told him what my life was really like.

The next morning was full of pain and long stares from my classmates. One whole side of my face was a huge bruise. Nate practically broke down in tears when he saw me this morning. Of course Mark had a fun time making fun of me. He told the entire class that I was beaten up by my boyfriend for not 'doing him' correctly. I obviously don't have a boyfriend or any kind of friend, except Nate and Jason, so I don't know why everyone believed him. I was really worried about what Jason would say when I saw him after school. He would probably blame himself for not doing anything but, I had it coming.

Mrs. Turner drove me to the library again after school and I cringed into the seat when I saw Jason. I got out of the car against my own will and slowly walked up to Jason, who was playing his guitar in the grass like yesterday.

"J-Jason?" I gulped.

"Hey Shane!" he smiled, not looking up from his guitar. "Sit down."

"No." I swallowed. "I want you to look at me first." Jason slowly rose his head to look at me. When he took in what he was looking at, his entire expression changed. Jason was quick to his feet and he gently took my face in his hands.

"W-what happened to you?" he asked.

"Steven." I whispered. "Right after you left."

"Oh my God, Shane. I'm so sorry." he said, wrapping me in a hug. I pressed my face into Jason's chest, letting a few tears trickle down my cheeks.

For most of our study session I told Jason everything that happened after he left. I still managed to get all of my homework done before the end of our session. Jason would constantly ask me if I was o.k. or he would run his hand over my arm. He really showed me what an incredibly caring person he was today. It made me feel like there was more than just one or two people in this world who actually cared about me. It felt nice.

This was the start of when everything changed. Steven beat me more and more everyday, Nate became attached to my hip, Mark bullied me as much as he possibly could and Jason started to become very emotional. At least that's how I interpreted his actions. Jason started texting me more often, he would sit closer to me at our tutoring sessions and every once and a while he would touch me. Not in a gross way, but just a brush of the hand or a knee touch. Sometimes he would even stare at me for long periods of time but, I just figured he was worried about me. Why, with how violently Steven started beating me I wouldn't be surprised if he started holding me while I did my homework.

But at the start of all these new things, I began to feel this odd sensation in the pit of my stomach whenever I was with Jason. I don't know what it was but it really confused me. Whenever he would brush his hand over mine, my hand would start tingling. Or whenever his knee would bump mine, my whole leg would go numb. Was I going crazy? Was I having strange nerve spasms when people would touch me? I couldn't say because when anyone else would touch me I wouldn't feel an odd sensation, it was just normal. Maybe I was going crazy.

One Friday afternoon, Jason's emotions became more noticeable. I was staring at my Algebra textbook, desperately trying to figure out a problem. I had my head resting in one hand while the other was resting on the table. After I had gone over the question four times, I let out an exaggerated sigh. That's when Jason slid his hand under mine, gripping my fingers. My hand started tingling out of control, making me stare down at it, making sure it wasn't shaking. Then, I looked over at Jason, he was looking down at his own textbook, not phased by his actions.

"J-Jason?" I stuttered.

"You need help?" he asked, still oblivious to the fact that his hand was wrapped around mine.

"Uh…no?" Jason looked at me strangely and then looked back at his textbook.

"Jason?" I asked again.

"Hmm?"

"Y-your hand." I stated, glancing down at our conjoined hands.

"Yeah?" he turned to me. "Oh. D-do you mind?" he asked, making me cock my head. He was really starting to confuse me.

"Huh?" he wasn't making any sense.

"Do you mind if I hold your hand?" he asked and I could see hope in his eyes.

"I guess not." I answered, watching a smile spread across his lips.

"Good, thanks." he nodded, going back to his work. _What? Thanks? Hold my hand? Why is it still tingling? It's official, I'm going crazy!_

"Jason? Do you think I'm crazy?" I asked. I'm not sure why, but I did.

"What?" he laughed.

"Do you think I'm crazy?" I repeated.

"No." he shook his head, his eyebrows furrowing. "Why?"

"I-I don't know what's going on." I shook.

"What do you mean, Shane?"

"Why do you want to hold my hand? Why is my hand tingling? Why am I all of a sudden freaking out when you're around me? Why do I have butterflies in my stomach? What is going on, Jason? Is this normal?" I asked all of these questions so fast I hardly understood them. But, when I saw Jason's expression change, I figured he understood my rambling.

"I-I think you have a crush on me." he smiled.

"I what?" I asked, shocked.

"That's what you feel when you have a crush on someone. Kind of like the same feeling I'm having right now." he shrugged.

"Oh." I nodded. "Wait, What? Y-you have a c-crush on me?" I asked, incredulously.

"Yup." he smiled, tightening his grip on my hand. I just stared at Jason, shocked at what he just told me.

"Do you believe me?" he asked, frowning now.

"Of course I believe you it's just that…I don't know why you like me."

"What's not to like?" he asked.

"I have about the most disgusting step-father in the world, I have like no confidence at all, I'm not funny, my style sucks, and I'm not attractive in any way."

"How could you say that, Shane? You are confident, you are funny, I love your style, you are incredibly attractive, I love everything about you. Don't doubt me, Shane!" Jason practically shouted.

"Well I'm not as perfect as you." I sighed.

"I'm far from perfect." Jason laughed.

"Not in my eyes." I smiled.

"Does this mean what I think it means?" he asked.

"Jason? Will you be my dirty little secret?" I asked, causing Jason to burst out in laughter.

"Your What?" he laughed.

"I mean…my… boyfriend?" I cringed, stopping Jason's fit of laughter.

"What?" he asked, concerned.

"I don't like that word…boyfriend…"I cringed again.

"Why not? I like it, especially if it involves you." he smiled.

"Mark always calls me gay and says I have like 70 boyfriends I 'screw' every night." I said, shrinking into my seat. Jason brushed a hand over my cheek, tucking a few strands of my hair, behind my ear.

"Shane, don't let him get to you." he whispered.

"But, he does and everyone believes him."

"You are gay, Shane. That's what they call guy liking guy."

"I know that. I just didn't know I was until now."

"Then, why can't you accept that you just asked me to be your boyfriend?"

"Because it doesn't feel right. I don't want other people to find out, Jason." I said, feeling the tears coming.

"No one has to know if you don't want them to. I will do whatever it takes to keep you, even if it means keeping our relationship private." Jason said, rubbing a hand over my arm.

"You really are amazing." I smiled, taking his other hand in mine, both of our hands intertwined now. Then, Jason leaned in closer to me. It was only moments before I could feel his breath on my face. I closed my eyes, loving the feeling of him so close. Then, his lips were on mine in a soft kiss. My heart rate started to pick up, racing for the quickest exit out of my chest. Then, Jason leaned back pulling me with him. He repositioned me in his lap, keeping our hands intertwined. My heart couldn't find an exit in my chest so it raced towards my head. The pounding start ringing in my ears, muffling everything else that was going on that didn't involve Jason's lips. Puffs of air were escaping my nose at a faster rate now. Then Jason pulled out of the kiss, releasing my hands and holding my face.

"Breathe, Shane." he instructed. I finally opened my eyes, everything was blurry. I started to take deep, stagnant breaths.

"Best First Kiss Ever!" I said, breathlessly.

"Well, if you want another you're going to have to learn how to breathe." Jason laughed.

"Sorry, I got caught up in the moment." I shrugged.

"Now, I want you to breathe through your nose, Shane." Jason instructed, leaning into me again.

"But, that's what I was doing." I whined.

"Yeah, right when you really needed that air. You weren't breathing before that."

"Oh." I said, feeling my cheeks start to burn.

"Can we try this again, without suffocating yourself?"

"Yeah." I nodded, closing the distance between us, molding my lips to his. I concentrated on my breathing this time, making sure I did what Jason told me. I didn't want this to end.

After, I don't know how long, our lips finally parted. My heart was still pounding in my head and my fingers were still intertwined with Jason's. I glanced up at the digital clock on the wall, not really reading what it said. Then, I dropped my head down onto his shoulder. I released Jason's hands and curled up into his chest, gripping his shirt, while he ran his hands up and down my back.

"Shay? Do you want to sleep over tonight?" Jason asked, breathlessly.

"Um…I don't think I'm ready for that yet." I cringed.

"Oh, no, no." Jason stressed, tightening his grip on me. "I just don't want Steven to hurt you again."

"I don't think he will tonight. I really haven't done anything bad." I shrugged.

"Yeah, but it's 7:30."

"WHAT?!" I yelled, pulling out of our embrace, looking up at the clock. "Maybe staying over won't be such a bad idea." I gulped, as I stared blankly at the red letters that blinked 7:31.

We collected our things and headed out of the library hand in hand. When Jason opened the door for me, he released my hand, respecting my wish. But, when we were in the comfort of his Jeep our hands were locked again. It was about 20 minutes of staring out the window before we pulled into an apartment complex, called Summerville Plaza. Jason parked in front of room 14 and then walked around the car, opening my door. I hopped out of the car while Jason grabbed my backpack from the back seat.

"Some of the people here aren't the nicest so don't take anything they say personally." he whispered, wrapping his arm around my waist. We started walking for the stairs when a young boy, probably around 10 years old, came running around the corner.

"Shit." Jason scoffed, bending down and picking up a stone. _He isn't going to hit that kid is he?_

"Hey Jase! I see you've got some new meat to shred!" the kid laughed.

"Shut Up Billy!" Jason yelled, pulling me towards the stairs.

"I see you're going for the younger boys now. Have you been watching too many Michael Jackson Videos?" Billy yelled.

"I Told You To, SHUT UP!" Jason screamed, causing me to cringe into his side.

"Hey Kid! I would run while you can. I've seen girls and guys running out of Jason's apartment crying." Billy yelled to me. Jason's muscles tensed around me before he spun around, chucking the stone at Billy, hitting him square in the chest. Billy cried out in pain and Jason quickly pulled me up the stairs, practically carrying me.

"Jason! Jason STOP!" I yelled, trying to pull out of his grip. Jason didn't loosen his grip on my waist until we were in his apartment, room 27. He literally threw me into the living room before locking the door and driving his head into it. He slummed down to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest.

"Don't leave me, Shane!" he yelled.

"I-I won't, just tell me what's going on. You're scaring me." I said, keeping my distance.

"Billy gets to me like Mark gets to you. I know he is like seven years younger than me, but he scares everyone I bring home. He'll tell them I torture other people and then they will go screaming or crying out of my apartment when I try to explain. I would never ever hurt you, Shane. You have to believe me. I've never had a relationship with anyone because of Billy. I want it to be different with you, I Love You, Shane!" he pleaded, tears streaming down his cheeks. I carefully walked up to Jason, sitting down next to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I won't leave you, Jason, I promise." I said, as Jason's shaking arms wrapped around my shoulders.

"Thank you." he sighed. I kept my arms tight around his waist as we sat in complete silence. I was wondering what Jason was thinking about. I wondered if he was happy that I stayed or scared that I stayed. But, one thing is for sure, I stayed because I think I just may be in love with Jason too.

"W-Where are you're parents?" I finally asked.

"Who knows? They could be out getting drunk or they might be in China for all I know." Jason shrugged.

"Wow, you're really lucky, Jase."

"Don't say that, Shay. I know you don't like your step-father but, at least you have one. It's like I've been growing up all on my own. My parents are never around."

"You've seen what Steven does to me. Why would I ever be lucky to have him?" I asked, gripping myself tighter to Jason.

"Kay, maybe not Steven but, I know your mother still cares about you, even though I haven't met her yet." he said, running a hand through my black, wavy hair.

"And I know your parents still care about you." I said, sincerely.

Two hours later, after taking a shower and brushing my teeth, I was standing in Jason's bedroom. I was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a white tee that Jason lent me. I scanned his room, trying to find out more about him. There was a keyboard against one wall, along with a desk and computer. A bed with a blue comforter and a mahogany dresser decorated another wall. There were no pictures, no clothes on the floor, no CD's scattered everywhere, no signs of a normal life. Jason was such an expressive, passionate person, why didn't his room show that? People say that your room is supposed to be you. This was nothing like the Jason I knew. He wasn't boring like this room, he was exciting and musical. Other than the keyboard, nothing looked right.

"Hey Shay!" Jason chirped, as he walked into the room.

"What are you doing?" he asked, leaning against the wall, in his plaid pajama pants, shirtless might I add.

"Just looking around. Are you sure this is your room?" I asked, seriously.

"Yeah, why?" he laughed.

"This doesn't look like you. Where are the pictures? The clothes on the floor? Your music?"

"I don't know." he shrugged.

"You don't know?"

"I've never had any good enough memories to have pictures. My parents would murder me if my room was a mess and they hate my music." he sighed.

"I don't hate your music." I bluntly stated.

"Thanks, Shay." he weakly smiled.

"Jason, you are such a wonderful person, why won't your parents let you express who you are?"

"But, I'm not a wonderful person, Shane. I'm just a failure, lifeless, worthless."

"How Could You Say That?" I yelled.

"That's what my parents tell me, Shane!" he yelled back. "That's what everyone tells me!"

"Stop It! You're not worthless! You're not a failure! You've saved me Jason! Does That Mean Nothing In Your Awful Life?!" I yelled, falling to my knees.

"Shay, d-don't cry." Jason said, coming down on his knees beside me.

"Did you not just tell me you loved me, Jason?" I asked, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"I do love you, Shane." he said, taking my hands.

"Then, why is your life so worthless?" I cried.

"Everyone has burned that into my brain, Shane. They made me believe that I was this awful person. I tried to tell myself that I was this perfect, kind and loved person but, then I would just get told I was awful again. Being with you has changed me, Shane, I know it has. You've changed me some way, I just can't see it because I've been blinded by something stronger." he stressed, squeezing my hands.

"I want you to be apart of my life. I want you to help me put up those pictures. I want you to be my memories, Shane. Help me to see what kind of person I am."

"I will do everything I can to be with you and to build memories with you." I promised.

"Thank you, Shane." he said, pulling me into a hug. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist as he pressed his lips into my hair.

A few minutes later, we were curled up together under Jason's comforter. Our hands were intertwined and our foreheads were pressed together. This was the most passionate moment I had ever had with someone and I was loving it. The feeling that some one actually did care for me made me feel so amazing. I wanted to stay like this forever, in the arms of someone I loved.

* * *

So, in the end, two troubled boys found each other in the most odd situation. One troubled in a different way than the other but, still broken. Together, they were ready to make memories, to put up those pictures that Jason so desperately needed, and to mend each others broken hearts. My see on this whole situation is probably different than my two best friend's but, I will still be there for them whenever they need me.

Shane Johnson. Was troubled, confused and broken. But now, Shane Johnson. Confident, Ambitious, Mended and Loved.

And Jason Hale. Was hidden, blinded, and broken. But now, Jason Hale. Spontaneous, Understanding, Mended, and Loved.

-Nate Turner

_**Who knew that two troubled boys could find each other through the, **_

_**Confusing Feelings of Hale?**_

* * *

**How was it? Sorry, the ending was a little rushed. Reviews Please!!!**

**~Sleek Blan~**


End file.
